Weapon Of Choice

I have a listing on Facebook. I guess, that like a lot of Facebook users, my Friends list is made up of folks I associate with with face to face, folks I've met elsewhere on the internet who have similar interests and affiliations, and genuine long time friends.

Who knows what makes other folks tick, but I'd hoped I knew a bit about my long time friends. As it turns out I didn't know one of them very well at all.

Facebook has a large number of selectable restrictions with which a profile owner can modify who sees their profile, and what those folks can view. These are in addition to the Public Profile choices. I'd never used them as it made me feel a bit uncomfortable, if I didn't want some folks to read what I had written, why write it?

Logging on around the time of my Birthday, I was very surprised when clicking onto a long time friends profile, to see it looking very bare, with a minimal page of Wall information. So I emailed him to ask if he'd had a clear out, and he told me he'd been messing with the settings and the way blog posts appear, and he also said he'd look at it again sometime.

Now as he's a bit of an IT expert, I did wonder how this could have happened, but hey, maybe all of his listed friends were in the same puzzled situation as me, maybe it's Facebook at fault.

So, I contacted a couple of mutual friends at random, from very diverse backgrounds, and to my dismay, was told that they could see the full profile. So I'm starting to think that this was personal, and using the Facebook help section I now understand the fairly slow and painstaking process of blocking Profile access through entering an individual friends name, against different sections of your Profile. It was also a bit shocking to read in the dedicated chat areas that this particular tool is most often used by women to deter sex pests on Facebook.

You really could not do this by accident.

Never mind, I was sure he'd put it right soon, he's a good friend after all.

Except that didn't happen, because by the next day, a click on his profile, produced a 1 line entry only, for his Wall. So, he'd definitely looked at it again, and it would seem, reduced my access further.

Why do that, what's the point?

Enquiring of mutual friends has failed to identify my crime. They are at a loss to offer a reason or justification for his actions.

The next day I used a dummy registration to view his Public Profile and it looked pretty complete, so clicked on "Remove as Friend" to watch his Public Profile fill up, now the restrictions he'd placed against my name no longer held. At least I could read his Blog entries now. I emailed him to ask him to restore my Friend Status and remove the restrictions - no reply. So I sent a "Friend Request" - which he rejected, by clicking the ignore button. He then placed restrictions on his Public Profile, cutting my view of it to the minimum.

So, I waited a month, and then phoned him. It was Voicemail, so I rang off. My phone rings straightaway, and it's him, and he sounds upbeat and cheerful, but then I'm on a new number and once I tell him it's me, his voice tone changes, and despite phoning me, now he can't talk as he's in the car. In fact, that's all he said, over and over. I gave up.

As for me, I'm still pretty upset by this, but I'm determined to get out there and enjoy my life, as this will fade with time. Perhaps he will make the time to contact me one day and explain why he took the actions he did, but I'm not waiting in for his call.

I failed to see this coming, it seems things are never what we expect them to be. It appears that I was friends with him, but he saw me differently, disposable perhaps?